Tuesday, March 26, 2013


I don't want this blog to end up being a downer - I'm NOT a downer... at least I don't think I am.
I'm just feeling down right now. And as my personal outlet, it gets shared here.
Bare with me, I assure you I'll change my tune soon enough.

I am feeling incredibly defeated in life right now. There have been days when I just cry and cry and cry.

I don't know if it's my depression creeping back up on me, or if I'm legitimately distraught due to events in my life.

I hate my job - that's no secret.
My 9 month old cat ran away - I feel like the worst mom ever.
I have a major exam in 6 weeks and my current level of defeat makes me feel like this is an insurmountable task.

I feel like I need to do some "me" work, but then there are the stresses of real life - how will I pay for things? everyone will be disappointed in me if I leave my job, defer my exam, or just take a break from life in general.

I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place and I need a hand getting out of here.

1 comment:

  1. I know things are tough right now Melissa, but you have to believe that things will get better. I know from experience how smart and dedicated you are - there will always be openings for someone like yourself.

    You seem so resigned to defeat in your current job. Everybody has worked a terrible job before. But you do yourself a disservice by complaining about your work which brings a lot of negative energy into your life. You don't need that.

    As for your kitty, these things happen sometimes as terrible as that is. He may come home, he may not. But don't assume he was in trouble. My first cat was one which stumbled into our backyard. We fed her and put up posters all over the neighborhood and nobody claimed her. We kept her and gave her a good home in the end. Perhaps if your kitty doesn't come home, he'll have found a happy new family.

    Don't look at the events that have unfolded in your life and feel defeated. Look at them as a challenge. Go to work, do a good job, and don't concern yourself with any criticism or scorn you might receive.. As long as you know you did a good job then you can rest easy. And don't let these feelings impede on the work you need to do for your exam, that should be your first prioirty.

    We all have our ups and downs, but you're a strong person, you can handle it.