Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Defeated.

I don't want this blog to end up being a downer - I'm NOT a downer... at least I don't think I am.
I'm just feeling down right now. And as my personal outlet, it gets shared here.
Bare with me, I assure you I'll change my tune soon enough.

I am feeling incredibly defeated in life right now. There have been days when I just cry and cry and cry.

I don't know if it's my depression creeping back up on me, or if I'm legitimately distraught due to events in my life.

I hate my job - that's no secret.
My 9 month old cat ran away - I feel like the worst mom ever.
I have a major exam in 6 weeks and my current level of defeat makes me feel like this is an insurmountable task.

I feel like I need to do some "me" work, but then there are the stresses of real life - how will I pay for things? everyone will be disappointed in me if I leave my job, defer my exam, or just take a break from life in general.

I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place and I need a hand getting out of here.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Dilemma

To quit, or not to quit? That is the question...

I think I've decided (yes, after only two weeks) that this job is not the perfect fit for me.

I'm really not doing anything accounting related, and while I don't claim to be an expert, I have more than enough experience to at least warrant a little bit of confidence in my skills.

When I started at Mistura I was thrown in head first without a life vest. While I was beyond stressed, and slightly overwhelmed at first, it was FUN! The people, the environment, the customers, and the fact that little Coco could come with me were just some of the hundreds of perks I had there.

Although I was inexperienced, I felt respected, and I felt that they were beyond confident in my abilities. That made me feel good.

There's nothing here that makes me feel good. I'm not even trusted to make a check run to the bank for the owner (something I've done for previous employers since I was 16) without someone checking up on me. Oh, and did I mention I was on the floor for half an hour yesterday fixing a carpet?

I have every teensy little mistake pointed out to me - and not politely. And I'll be honest - I find I make silly little mistakes because it BORES me and I want to complete it as quickly as possible. If I'm not challenged and pushed, and learning new things, I'm not happy.

Who knows when I'll get the responsibilities I was described in my interview? Weeks? Months? YEARS?! god forbid... But am I willing to stick around to find out?

What would you do? Stay? Leave without having something else lined up? I don't want her to think I'm comfortable or happy here either.

Dilemma.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Crazy Criticisms

I'm a pretty critical person, and I'm aware of it.

I like to blame my family a little bit for this one, as unfair as that may be. You could be good, but there was always room to be better... at least according to them.

Is it hereditary?

I do it to my live-in boyfriend all the time and I can't help it. It's like word vomit, it just comes out. I almost have this out of body experience where I can SEE myself doing it, and I think "no! stop! don't!" but it's too late.

Now that the tables have turned, I can see things from his perspective a little more clearly...

Nothing I do at my new job is ever right. I'm watched like a hawk, and the tiniest of slip-ups (we're talking calling an "index" a "table of contents" in a conversation) I get reemed out for.

I get it, people like it when things are done a certain way, especially in their own domain. But there has to be a nicer way to say it, right? It's hard to have your self-confidence in your abilities ripped away from you for such insignificant things.

Maybe I should ease up on the bf the next time he's in my domain (cleaning the house) and let him do things his own way... as long as the end result is achieved, who cares what methods got you there?

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

tax time

I went from having nothing to do at work all day, to being so swamped that I can barely see over the top of my desk.
You'd think this was a complaint, but I thrive under pressure. This tax season is going to fly by!

sweater - dynamite (2009); lace top - dynamite (2012); trousers - smart set (2013);
heels - spring (2010)

Note to self: this sweater needs to be belted.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Currently...

Watching… The Face. I flipping love reality TV, and this show's no exception. Coco, Karolina, Naomi AND Nigel Barker? I'm in model heaven. Oh and Naomi's shit-fits are thoroughly entertaining.

Enjoying… Lazy evenings with the man and my 3 furry children. I know I should be more productive when I get home, but lately we've been taking it easy, and I think it's much needed.

Planning… How I'm going to fit in study time during April... the tax month from hell.

Excited for… Coco's 2nd birthday this Saturday! We'll be making doggie treats from scratch for the first time which should be awesomeness... I can eat them too, right?

Cooking… Besides dog treats? Whatever's fast. I've been in super lazy mode lately, so it usually just involves throwing some kind of protein in the oven and a quick salad.

Pinning… Booze inspired kitchen art. Both fun AND fitting. 

Inspired by… Those crazy do-it-all women. Seriously. Where do you find the time?! Between work, school, and housework, I can barely find time to do it all... I could just imagine what life would be like with kids. I'd never have a free moment!

Remembering… the beach in Mexico this past January. *sigh* one week is never long enough for a vacation.



Originally seen on My Pretty Pennies. If this is your creation, feel free to msg me and I'll give due credit :)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Something New

I started a new job this past Monday! 
 I'd love to say "so far, so good," but to be honest, I'd have to say I'm very unsure. 

I left my last job so that I could gain exposure to all the different areas of accounting I'll need in order to achieve my designation next year. However, so far I feel as if I'm being under-utilized. I know it's only the first few days and we're "taking things slowly" so I can learn the ropes around here, but so far everything I've been given to do is very administrative and not very accounting based. 
Hopefully that will change in the coming weeks. I wouldn't give up an opportunity without giving it a fair chance first. 

On the plus side, it does mean that I get to dress (or attempt to dress) corporate chic again... oh heels, cardigans and blazers, how I've missed you!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

March Goals

Follow my blog with Bloglovin
I thought this new blog would be the perfect place to set a few monthly goals for myself. Nothing too crazy, but I feel like this is a public way to remain accountable to myself :)
I'll update at the end of the month with both my successes and failures.
  1. Do all my assignments BEFORE their due dates and NOT the day of.

    Yup, I'm a REALLY BAD procrastinator, and I need to stop. Fortunately there are only a few assignments left before the end of this year and then I'm done until September. *small victory dance*
  2. Finish the reorganizing the study

    I know this one seems like a given, especially considering my last post was all about this project, but I have a very bad tendency of starting a large project, getting overwhelmed or disinterested half way through, and giving up on it. Not this time though! ... i hope!
     
  3. Do my Taxes

    I usually put it off until the last week in April (see above comment re: procrastinating, haha) but I could definitely use that refund this year!
  4. Make a Skirt

    I keep saying I'll get back into sewing, so once I'm done revamping the study, I think this will be the perfect, quick, project to get back into the swing of things and christen the new space.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

My "Office" Overhaul in 31 Days

There is one room in our house that makes me cringe every time I walk into it. Our messy, over-stuffed, completely disorganized, office.

And I use the term "office" loosely here. 

 
This room is basically a catch-all for hobby paraphernalia (board & video games, sewing, crafting), all the random paper that makes it's way into our home (bills, etc.), school stuff for the man & I's continuing education, and of course, the stuff we need when work gets overwhelming and we need to put in a few extra hours from home. (I know, I ramble... get used to it, haha!)


 
So, I'm joining in the fun on orgjunkie.com to transform this disaster into a clean, organized, and multi-functional space. 


Wish me luck!


See the Transformation HERE

Friday, March 1, 2013

The Comeback Kid


After I left my last blog dismally abandoned last April, I felt like something was missing. That outlet where I could just go, rant, share, archive, inspire myself, and whatever else, no longer existed.

So here I am with round two!

I am not a fashionista, I am not a foodie, I am not a world traveler. I don't have clever anecdotes, and I'm not incredibly verbose...
I'm just your average twenty-something woman, trying to figure out "life" and posting about it along the way. Join me on my adventure?